Designed Alliances
A co-created blueprint of how you will work, communicate, and be with someone else — or within a team.
By designing and agreeing on what your partnership looks like, you create proactive buy-in for the team to behave and interact in specific ways. When communication begins to venture outside the bounds of your designed alliance, you can bring it back in line with what you've agreed upon.
Use this tool to set intentions early as a partnership or team. It can serve as a forward-looking way to understand and move through differences, set expectations before an important conversation, or consciously design how you work together.
How to Use This Tool
Meet in person or on a video call.
Set aside at least an hour and remove all distractions.
Go question by question, allowing each person to answer and record their response before moving on.
Take the time to deeply understand the other person's perspectives.
Revisit as needed.
Housekeeping Questions
Start with the practical logistics of working together.
I typically work:
Make sure there is overlap
Contact me in a pinch via:
Email, WhatsApp, phone, etc.
How do we communicate as a team?
Primary and secondary forms — what types of work lives where
Big Picture Questions
Explore your hopes, fears, and boundaries for the partnership.
What is your high dream (best hope) for our partnership?
What is your low dream (worst fear) for our partnership?
What are the most important things to do or to avoid to stay out of low dream territory?
How I Like to Work
Understand each other's preferences, triggers, and motivators.
What will work best in our interactions?
Empowering, supportive, challenging, direct, etc.
I like to receive feedback:
When and how
I like to receive acknowledgement/recognition:
When and how
My best work relationships have this in common:
I'm likely to shut down in a work relationship if…
I deal with stress by…
I am most energized by…
What moves me from resistance to momentum is…
If you disagree with something I have done or said, I want to be approached:
Like this, not like this
I would love to be asked ____________ when we check in with each other.
How We Are as a Team
Reflect on team dynamics and strengthen your partnership.
How do we want to be with each other when we work together?
How are we being with each other now that is not serving us?
Post dialogue: What is our homework following that discussion?
As a team, when are we at our best?
If I piss you off, how will I know?
How do we want to be when things go wrong?
When one of us forgets, or someone messes up?
How do we increase trust?
What can your partner count on you for?
'You can count on me to _____' (an action) or 'You can count on me to bring ______' (a quality)
What acknowledgment do you want to give your partner?
'I appreciate your _________ (creativity, willingness, honesty, enthusiasm, flexibility, commitment, clarity…)'